You Hesitate, You Die...

“You hesitate, you die…” as said by Dutchie, on Sea Patrol and never have truer words been spoken.  Or at least, not if you’ve ever driven in Sydney. 

I have driven on three continents now, and in major cities that usually invoke fear in even seasoned drivers:  New York City, Paris, Montreal, London, San Antonio (the loop at 1402 is terrifying!) and Toronto.  I never flinched with those drives, instead considering them an adventure. 

Driving in Sydney is hell.  There’s no other description. 

Aside from the typical problems (driving on the wrong side of the road, in a car that’s unfamiliar to me, and having the constant nattering of a four-year-old in the background…) there are a series of one-way streets, hyper-aggressive drivers, and distributor roads at every turn (for those of you who’ve never experienced them, imagine tunnels that are unidirectional and that have no exits, that are ‘cross-city’) Add to that hills of epic proportions, and lights that have very strange delays and you can only begin to imagine the nightmare that is driving in Sydney. 

It had been awful coming in on Sunday, as we realized that the streets changed names frequently, and that the hills were a problem for a novice manual-transmission driver…  Poor Jayne made the car make noises I have never heard before, and our poor little red focus was creating SMELLS I never knew possible. 

The hills were so steep (and the drivers so close to me) that I was terrified I’d hit someone trying to start the car…  I was frustrated and exhausted. 

Most of the week, we haven’t had to drive; both of our hotels have been in central locations so it’s been a cakewalk, but yesterday we had to drive to THIS hotel, and it was Jayne’s turn to drive.  On top of getting lost/getting detoured and just generally getting frustrated, Ben was on a ‘it’ll take ages’ kick, as he so enjoys, and I was getting snappy (neither of us had thought to write down the address of the hotel – and were paying for it dearly as we drove across the CBD!) 

Once we got here yesterday, Jayne decided the car was going back – she was NOT driving in this city again.  And after Sunday’s debacle getting into Sydney after our long journey, I was inclined to agree.

Since Jayne was still a little traumatized from yesterday, I chose to drive – and the first 15 seconds of our commute required us to cut across three lanes of traffic within about three feet, as to make the light and our turn or else face the eastern-distributor (again – he nearly killed us yesterday too!) 

Needless to say, that’s what inspired our blog title tonight.  Sydney is full of terrible drivers, and people who really make for some terrible pedestrians, so the combination of the two is sheer hell.  I highly recommend, if you ever visit Sydney, that you stay somewhere central and take the commuter rail – it’s economical and less stressful.  (Additionally, parking in this city is astronomical, almost as much so as Brisbane – if you enjoy extortionist rates of upwards of $30 a day, for no in/out privileges, by all means, drive, but… your unlimited rail pass for a WEEK would only be $41 – and gets you EVERYWHERE!  Family passes for 2 adults and one child are also available!) 

Now that the sticky, noisy Focus is back at Hertz, we can embrace our love of the city once more – we walked through Hyde Park, up to the Finger Wharves and saw Harry’s – a Sydney icon who sells pies topped with mushy peas and gravy.  The smell was quite tantalizing, but my level of bravery was significantly lower; I opted to wait for lunch even though I was ravenous. 

Next we trudged back up a million stairs, and into the Botanical Gardens to see Mrs. McQuarrie’s Chair – a lovely lookout onto the harbour and the best way to get pictures of the bridge and the opera house from dry land.  There were a million tourists – and it was hot, sticky, and maybe a little warmer than we would have enjoyed for our probably 10 km trek however after the downpour earlier this week, we opted not to complain. 

After the gardens, we wandered up to Circular Quay and caught the Manley Ferry.  This is a must-do for anybody visiting the area.  Manley is a gorgeous little beach, but more importantly, the ferry ride gives you incredible perspective. 

As you travel the harbour shores, you get to glimpse at the various suburbs of this enormous city.  From filthy rich to moderately so, and then on to probably middle-class, you can check out various homes near the water.  You can also get a view of the naval yards, the Gap, and of course our ever favourite bridge and Opera House. 

From the water, you don’t feel like a part of the city.  It’s more like this completely serene out of body experience where you watch it disappear, into a sea of puffy white clouds and blue sky, with incredible bursts of reality; cities blend into cliffs, and then beaches, and so on. 

Tomorrow’s my last day here, before I begin the journey back.  I would stay here in a heartbeat, and happily embrace the ‘no worries’ lifestyle that I’ve been able to sample the past few weeks. 

Looking back at my early pictures from Melbourne, it feels like a completely different time and place – at that time, everything felt so foreign, and now, after weeks immersed in the culture and amongst the people, I’m happy to say I feel much more comfortable with the marvels that are Australia. 

(As an aside, I land Saturday evening at 5:55 pm after traveling for just over 24 hours – once you include all the time at the airport and the 20 hours of flying…  I’m thinking I’ll be a zombie next week at work – hmmm… maybe I should go back to Melbourne?)

Three More Sleeps...

I was starting to lose hope that I'd get to see any sunny moments in Sydney before I begin my journey back on Saturday.  The rain was coming down in sheets creating a wall of hard rain that made it foreboding as you'd step out onto the street.  It was warm, but completely deceptive because the minute you'd get outside, you'd be drenched, and the harbour wind would cut right through you.

I was starting to hate Sydney - because I couldn't fault anything else...

This morning, when I woke up, the grey skies were ominous but slightly more optimistic than last night, when our 'room with a view' wouldn't even let us see five feet out the panoramic window.  Still, by the time we showered, dressed, and readied to go out, the rain began again.

Because we were changing hotels (and moving on to the posh hotel in Darling Harbour, sans view, but of epically great location) we opted to move the car and make the most of it.  In pouring rain, we drove out, with the intent to do the beaches of Sydney - and if need be sneak out during moments of lesser rain to snap some photos.

The first few beaches were hard to see - sadly, the amount of rain we received was making the views impressive to see, but incredibly difficult to photograph.  According to the news, this rain fall broke records more than seven years old.  All I can say is, thank you, mother nature.  (The heartless bitch!)

Pleasantly though, as we moved on, from beach to beach, we were able to get more and more sunlight and suddenly the day was looking up.

By the time we made it to Waverley Cemetery, it was a beautiful combination of tempestuous and barely-hidden sun creeping out to welcome us.  It was incredible.

The day rebounded fantastically, allowing us several glorious hours of wandering, picture-taking, and enjoying the city.  We toured the Chinese Garden of Friendship, walked the harbour and then walked back up to Paddy's Markets before coming 'home' to the hotel, and diving into the most luxurious pool I have ever had the pleasure of swimming in.

I rescind all negative feelings I was beginning to harbour against Sydney, and acknowledge that patience is not a virtue I've ever been accused of possession.  I will, however, note that weather rainy or sunny, there is something magical about this place; even during the most depressing moments of meteorological hell, there is something that makes you want to discover more.

Only three more sleeps until this incredible trip comes to an end.  I'm ready to see my kitties, to have a phone call that doesn't cost $2 a minute to dial, and to see my friends and family back home, but otherwise, I really could stay here forever.

I think there will definitely be a time when I need to come back, and I hope that time is sooner rather than later.

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

For the past two weeks, we have had amazing weather - weather that, by all standards, completely skewed my perception of fall in Australia.

Mother nature decided to kick my ass, and I'm not impressed.

It's been raining for two days straight, and though it's provided excellent opportunity to frequent some local museums, it would be nice to be able to go out and see the sights in the open air.  We've already visited the Maritime Museum, which offered an interesting account of the history of the settlement of Australia and the Navy, and then we wandered to the Australia Museum.

Now, in all fairness, I have been spoiled - I've been the to Smithsonian twice, and I live a stone's throw from the Museum of Civilization in Ottawa.  I've also had the joy of visiting museums in Paris, and London, as well as throughout the US.  I'm a bit of a museum snob.

The Australia Museum was a huge let down by all counts.  Not only were the exhibits mostly closed (though there was no notice of that at the time of paying admission) but there were a variety of stuffed animals that were to pass as an exhibit.  We've been to the Australia Zoo and saw the animals when they were alive, but seeing them stuffed was disconcerting.  Even more so when Ben asked a random stranger if they were real, and her response being 'yes, but now they're dead...'  Uh, ok, crazy hippy bitch?!  Explain that to a four year old.

The rest of the exhibits (all two of them) were spent explaining that the animals were a) real and b) dead. We still don't know their cause of death.  The kangaroo looked like he took on a mac truck, but at least now we know why we saw no wildlife during our travels; they're all stuffed and in the Australia Museum in Sydney!

This evening we have sat in, watching bad tv (the only type they have in Australia) and ignoring Ben as he refuses to go to sleep.  It's working very well, actually, as we're eating dessert and vegging.  I'm starting to realize that Australia's population is seriously screwed as pretty much everyone here is driving their cars over cliffs, or fishing on the rocks and finding themselves dead (and possibly taxidermied for the upcoming exhibits in the Australia museum) But having watched their tv, we can understand why.  When 'A Current Affair' is running an expose on 'The Impregnator', we can rest assured, it's bad.

And now, we're watching Australia's Got Talent - and they don't, I swear!

I'm a little worried about the state of the nation: a leader of the opposition who admits he lies when on the spot, bad TV, and a national museum that sucks?  Thank God they have gorgeous beaches, beautiful people, and a reasonably nice climate...

I still love Australia, don't get me wrong...  I'm just learning the bits I like more than others.  ;)

In Sydney! FINALLY!

After traveling several thousand kilometers, we arrived in Sydney this afternoon just after 2PM.  We were tired, cranky, bored – the ride was definitely lacking in adventure (and stops) so by the time we rolled into the hotel in Potts Point, we were ready to get out and get to seeing things. 

Our room has a view of the bridge, and of the Opera house, and though we wouldn’t normally splurge on things like that there is something to be said for such a welcome to the city.  The plan we had originally was to spend six days in this hotel, however when the exchange rate went to pot, we opted to spend three nights here, and our next three at the Radisson just on the border of Chinatown – and near several of our intended sights! 

This afternoon we wandered through Potts Point, and also through Kings Cross.  Kings Cross is seedy and lovely in a very strange red light district sort of way.  Several of the merchants are open twenty-four hours and it has an impressive selection of scandalous people.  It was a fabulous introduction to what I would typically consider a rather first-class city. 

This evening, we did the responsible thing – we went through our luggage and packed it to see how much space we have left for shopping this week, and to figure out what if anything needs to be shipped back.  My luggage is still in fairly good shape, so I look forward to being able to acquire a few more bits before I leave on Saturday morning.  

Tomorrow’s itinerary is much more exciting than today’s: we’ll wander the harbour, as well as some of the CBD.  Our goal is to make it up to Hyde Park to people watch at lunchtime, and maybe take the Ferry out to Watson’s Bay for the afternoon. 

This time next week, I’ll be preparing to head back to Ottawa.  I’m already thinking about how to get back here, and see more of this amazing place. 

Now that we’ve found out how to find reasonably priced food and drink, it seems like a much more attainable place to be!  

Are Any of You a Foreigner?

(Pictures were to be included, but this internet connection... sucks... sorry all!)

Imagine my surprise when a rather round woman in bad glasses leaned her head into our car while we were parked at the giant banana (on our quest to make a giant smoothie) and asked us that very question. 

I admit, I was somewhat surprised.  “Depends on what you call a foreigner – I’m from Canada.  They’re from the UK,” I said, pointing at Jayne and Ben. 

“See?  I told you we’d be able to cross a few things off the list here,” she said, gesturing to the three young kids there with her (who were making crude gestures while in the shadow of the massive phallic fruit).

Apparently – and I wonder what this is all about even to this point – they were doing a birthday scavenger hunt and on the list were things like ‘take picture with a foreigner’, ‘take a picture with a giant phallic fruit’ (I’m guessing on that one), and ‘kiss a stranger’ – we helped them with two out of their three, and the banana took care of the rest. 

Also on our travels, we were able to track down a few more giant things: a giant avocado (at, you guessed it, Tropical Fruit World) and also a giant shrimp.  That was sheer luck. 

This has been the summary of our day, during our travels from Surfer’s Paradise, to Coffs Harbour in New South Wales.  This is our third state and is a great start to our third week.  Tomorrow we end up in Sydney – one day after Jessica Watson, thankfully. 

Tonight we’re exhausted, and all feeling somewhat under the weather.  Ben’s been asthmatic and coughing, Jayne’s been achy, and I managed to do in my leg a couple days ago – clearly we’d be terrible gypsies as we’re so fatigued after two weeks of constant movement.  My daily regiment for healing has included an excessive number of over-priced naproxen and fists full of ibuprofen.  I must be in tip-top shape for the six days of walking I have ahead of me! 

We’ve taken this evening to relax – we’ve curled up in bed with bad movies and stuffed animals – a slew of stuffies, actually – and plan to retire quite soon.  We’ve got a long drive tomorrow to get to Sydney, and then thankfully we have three nights in one hotel before we move on to three nights in our final hotel. 

Since today was a quiet day, spent mostly in the car, on the beach, and in bed (what a luxurious combination!) I decided to share some previously acquired knowledge with you – it seems only fair to keep you updated of all the goings-on here in Oz. 

A few interesting things we’ve noticed on our travels:

-            Australians are paranoid about dying in car accidents (or at least in Queensland as every traffic sign en route seems to be berating drunk drivers and those who travel with fatigue…) We know now that this holds true for NSW as well, as they are constantly berating people for their poor driving – whether on bulletin boards, TV adverts or with speed posting signs.  In watching and reading the daily news, I’ve come to learn that a disproportionate number of Australians do actually die in automobile accidents.  The only rationale I can come up with as to why is boredom.  Or wandering Cassowaries. 

-             Bananas quite possibly grow in bags, as evidenced by the farms along the way, and if they do, you are not allowed to move them as they are apparently quarantined.  Does that strike anyone else as worrisome considering we eat them?  Also quarantined is sugarcane – which at one point we almost thought was corn. 

-            When we came to Australia, we expected to find animals in the wild – it may have been a naïve tourist sensitivity expecting the great wild, however we were not prepared for the fact that the only animals we seem to find are roadkill – a wombat, a small kangaroo, and several small feathered things that were beyond identification.  After two weeks and thousands of kilometers, we’ve still not seen any of the aforementioned wildlife alive 

-            Australian media gets away with a lot more than our North American media outlets.  Where as we have very subdued billboards, theirs are really quite dirty and funny.  One sign for Mission Beach (a famous location for swimming, skydiving and hostelling) read: “Get High, Get Wet, Get Laid” and beside each was a picture – one of a skydiver, another of a swimmer, and the final of a person laying in bed.  Brilliantly funny.  There was another sign further along that said ‘Tired and Drunk Drivers RIP’.  So do you spontaneously die because you’re tired and/or drunk or is that a preventative thing? 

-            Bacon comes not in strips, but in rashers, and is similar to pea-meal bacon but way better: less ham-y and more yummy.

            

Muppets are Bootilicious - Seriously!

Today, I learned many things. 

I learned that dolphins experience 13 months of gestation (and in captivity, are content enough to have ultrasounds), that sting rays are really very placid (and have no teeth), that Disney has yet again failed me, as starfish are bumpy and hard, as opposed to soft and fluffy, and that muppets can really shake their groove-things.  Seriously. 

As you can probably tell, Sea World was incredibly educational for me. 

It was a good day in all, except for gay pirates that seemed to be stand-ins for the Highschool Musical cast, and with a very questionable accent, no less. 

I also learned that polar bears, apparently, want to be brown bears as they rolled in mulch that made them look like Yogi, even sharks don’t want to live in Canada, and it’s fun to get wet. 

Watching Bert and Ernie’s Island Holiday at Sea World was something akin to hell for me, but Ben seemed to love it.  The cast – Bert and Ernie, of course, Big Bird, Grover, Cookie Monster, Zoe and Elmo – were all pretty into their songs too, shaking their respective booty in ways that I was unaware muppets could.  Elmo, in particular, seemed to have a shimmy unbecoming of a respectable, red monster*. 

Now, the premise of this show – which at best would be described as 15 minutes of frolicking fur – was that Bert and Ernie went on vacation in the Caribbean and discover that they enjoyed it very much.  They liked their island, the banana tree (that was apparently completely foreign to them) and the random musical numbers that they kept breaking out into. 

This is when I realized that somewhere along the way, Jayne and I have morphed into Bert and Ernie.  I refuse to consider too seriously who is who, as neither is a particularly good option, but seeing as we’re both on our very own ‘tropical’ island, having just discovered banana trees for the first time, and cranking the tunes in the car at decibels that would be ear-deafening to most, it is worrisome.  My only consolation is that we have better shoes and eyebrows. 

We spent quite a long time at Sea World, which was a good thing considering how ridiculously expensive it was for admission (A$72/pp) and how many things were actually closed for seasonal renovation.  Thankfully, being off season also meant that there were almost no queues and that we were able to get up close and personal with the animals (though it in no way compares to the awe I still feel for the Australia Zoo) 

Aside from the dodgy Sesame Street show and the animal facts, Ben and I rode on a Splash Mountain-style ride that apparently took us deep into the Bermuda Triangle to be abducted by aliens – Ben loved it.  I don’t remember being quite so brave at four, but the poor thing drives with Jayne and me regularly so he is likely already accustomed to fast starts, strange stops, and what must feel like plummeting to the earth periodically. 

We had yummy soft-serve ice cream with lime-flavoured syrup and were so steaming hot that we drank what felt like a billion bottles of water.  So many Aussies were there, in ten layers and dressed as if it were ten degrees.  We were wishing we could remove more layers. 

Dinner tonight was at a cool Irish pub complete with a crazy A$10 Steak dinner, and live musical accompaniment.  It felt very much like a regular dinner out – just as I would have in Ottawa or whatever destination I might be living in.  As much as I’m not enamored with Surfer’s Paradise, I am very much in love with Australia itself. 

Before I got here, I had written it off as a neat place to go with a friend however it had never been a dream destination for me.  Now I very much consider Australia as a place to which I must return, for as long as I can manage, and next time around I have a much better idea as to how to plan, and what the financial demands will be. 

Tomorrow marks my two weeks here – I feel like it’s been much longer, and still not long enough.  Next week is the more luxurious part of the journey, with us in Sydney from Sunday on, and staying in four-star accommodations for the entirety.  I look forward to the adventure, perhaps to more time walking around solitarily, and also more time to get to know my amazing little Squidge, who has grown up so much already – and even in the past couple of weeks. 

*I have taken quite a bit of flack from Jayne for labeling Elmo a monster, as apparently his species is adequately described as ‘Muppet’ where as I think that’s far too broad of a classification.  As per Jayne, muppet is adequate as a descriptor and calling him a monster implies something negative; I counter that not all monsters are inherently bad, but that it’s their actions that define whether they’re good or bad (as it does with humans).   By that classification, Cookie Monster, Grover, Elmo and Zoe would be monsters, while Big Bird is obviously just that, and Snuffleupagus is just a hairy, earless mutant elephant with gender issues (am I the only one who remembers her to be a him during their youth?)  Jayne says I’m a labeler; Ben agrees with me.

Goodbye Noosa. Hello Brisbane, Goodbye...

Today was one of those days I sometimes have on vacation, when I no longer know where I am, or what I’m doing.  The day of the week, the time of day – everything – has become completely unknown to me.  I woke up startled this morning, confused as to where I was, until reality sunk in and I recognized the fabulous apartment we had while in Noosa. 

I can’t decide if the confusion is good or bad, as I know that reality is waiting for me somewhere on the other side of the earth.  Either way, I choose not to dwell. 

Instead, I’ve plugged in my iPod, and begun listening to my newly acquired Mumford & Sons CD that I picked up at the Big W in Noosa .  In case you’re unaware, they are a band out of London (UK) who sing a kind of folky-rock.  It’s brilliantly done and they are played repeatedly here (they’re number one on the Australian charts…) I’ve picked up dessert from the hotel restaurant, and tucked myself in with the laptop to tap away.  I consider dessert in bed with a computer therapy: does that make me unwell? 

This morning we set out for Brisbane, intent on partaking in some retail therapy.  En route, we encountered a much-advertised giant Pineapple.  If we continue with such luck at finding giant fruit, by the time we leave, we’ll have enough to make a giant smoothie.  (As an aside, on our way to Sydney, we’ll be driving past a theme park called ‘Tropical Fruit World.  In front of it, there’s a giant avocado – searching out these absurd giant things is a lovely challenge…)

Once in Brisbane, we felt somewhat redeemed in our decision to skip staying in the city itself; it’s friggin’ expensive!  Even the parking was far too rich for our blood, weighing in at about A$65 for a 6 hour stay – and at best, just under A$50 for a half-day’s parking. 

Instead of staying in the CBD, as we usually do, we instead went to South Bank where we found parking for less (a bargain at A$16) and lots of activities for Ben.  South Bank is really a great place; there’s the world’s largest IMAX screen, as well as lots of little shops, restaurants, another fabulous lagoon/beach, a small ‘rainforest’ and miles of coastline. 

Jayne and Ben stayed in the park and splashed about in the water.  I, being the intrepid explorer that I am, could not quite fathom spending my day sitting in a park.  I would like to say that as much as I enjoy parks, I wanted to see a little more than one-square city block. 

With only a few hours, I managed to travel from South Bank to the CBD (by foot), walked about twenty blocks, and then hopped on the city ferry to do a tour up the river. 

The city ferry is a part of a water-based travel option for residents here: think city bus on water.  The rides are inexpensive (I had an unlimited day pass for only A$5.10) and can take several hours if you have so much time to invest.  Even more interesting is that on the schedule, they list all the points of interest, and how best to see them – so you can get a little mini-tour out of it, without it costing a fortune. 

On the Ferry, I met three lovely women from Sydney who were doing the circuit (about 2 hours in total on that particular line) and actually had a son-in-law who works in the hotel we’re staying in when we get to Sydney – small world!  We chatted as I snapped away, and caught up on my Brisbane geography. 

Once I got off at Eagle Point Road, I met a lovely man from China who traveled to Brisbane for business.  We chatted for ages while waiting, and then took the Ferry back to South Bank. 

What I find most interesting about travel is how much you get from the experience when you’re alone.  I always end up meeting such incredible people – when I was in New York last, I met a lovely couple from Scotland, a family from Kentucky, and a couple of Aussies.  Same can be said for previous travels alone – being alone means you have to interact with others.  Love it. 

Eventually I abandoned my new friends to catch up with Jayne and Ben, and we set out for Surfer’s Paradise. 

I don’t know what expectation I had of Surfer’s, except that I can say it was not at all what I expected.  Think Myrtle Beach except warmer (all year long) and maybe even tackier – seriously!  It’s not bad, the level of kitsch on display here, but it is funny – one street there’s a few dozen stores like Hermes, Gucci, Tiffany (swoon) and Fendi, but then the next block there’s everything you could ever want for one dollar.  I don’t get it. 

Surfer’s is definitely not on my to-redo list, for future travels, but I’ve been here, done this, so next time around I won’t feel guilty when I plan my travels around it. 

No Shoes? No Shirt? No Worries!

We've spent the past few days in Noosa, and I have to admit, three whole nights in one hotel (especially one as great as our little one-bedroom waterfront apartment that we have here) has been amazing.  Talk about luxury!  A balcony, a heated pool, and access to a great town?  Love it!

Noosa is, by all counts, my new favourite Australian place!  Cairns was quite nice: it was small town meets big amenities, but when you drive into Noosa, you know you're somewhere luxurious.  Where as Cairns was small town America chic, Noosa is Miami chic, complete with canals, and massive houses, boats everywhere, and heaps of beautiful people.

South Beach ain't got nothin' on Noosa!

We hadn't planned to stay here so long - in fact, it was supposed to be a one day stopover on our journey, but we fell in love with the city, the people, and the food.  I actually do not have a single complaint or concern in regard to Noosa, aside from the fact that in the next hour or so, we'll be leaving for a day of retail therapy in Brisbane before heading to Surfer's Paradise tonight.

Yesterday was incredible.  Apparently it's been a little cool here (and by cool, I mean by their standards - it was only 28 degrees!) so the beaches were a little quieter than they would be normally, but that didn't keep the surfers in, nor a few of the sunbathers.

Jayne, Squidge and I took a walk through the park, which is lovely as the path we chose is coastal, however bordering on the forrest.  Listening to the crashing of waves while breathing in the scent of eucalyptus is really pretty much heaven by count.

The scenery is incredible in Noosa; there are beautitful waterfronts everywhere you go, and everyone is so very relaxed.

What I have noticed in Noosa, unlike in the other towns we've been to, is that people really don't wear shoes around here - it's as if shoes will somehow impede their relaxation, and as such, you really don't see all that many.  Also, the trend of 'Australia's so expensive' continues; yesterday I went into a Payless Shoes in Noosa Civic (the largest shopping mall in the area) and was mortified to find that while shoes back home are typically C$20-40 here they were in excess of A$50, with some going all the way up to A$80 - for man-made materials?

We have found some inexpensive yummy food, including an incredible fish and chip shop that makes your food to order upon request; I wish we found them sooner!

So, I'll start getting ready, and say goodbye to Noosa - but I can't complain because I've heard amazing things about Surfer's Paradise too!

Warm, Furry Creatures on the Loose

What a lovely, long day… We started out with an exchange of our rental car – the other one was making noises of the mysterious variety and we decided it was a bad idea to keep it any longer – and then a remarkably short drive to the zoo. 

As someone who is typically fairly against zoos, it was a pleasant surprise when we pulled up at the Australia Zoo in Beerwah.  This is the zoo made famous by Steve Irwin and his Crocodile Hunter show, and the risky behaviour he displayed prior to his untimely death a few years ago. 

The zoo is a 70 acre nature preserve, and it heavily conveys the message of conservation as opposed to animal exhibition.  Even more interesting is that the staff say – in no uncertain terms – that they intend to make us fall in love with the animals so we care (because, sadly, as humans, that’s the only way we actually respond to such serious plights)  Although they have the typical animal shows, it’s funny, tongue-in-cheek narratives that make you want to stay and watch more. 

Kangaroo Heaven, which is a large open area spotted with trees and lovely grassy areas, is exactly that: heaven.  The kangaroos and wallabies wander together, and happily enjoy Kanga-food that tourists distribute quite contentedly.  Unlike most zoos, where this is done under the watchful eye of someone who clearly hates their job, you enter the sanctuary and wander on your own.  The kangas and wallabies are so content to have interaction with people that they allow you to scratch their chins, pet them, take an absurd number of photos, and typically just wander with them. 

Everything about the zoo was incredible.  It was an educational day, full of genuine Australian hospitality, and a fabulous view; I would love to have had more time there to explore further into the zoo, read a few more signs, and absorb the amazing sun. 

So, I’ve spent the day in the company of two of my favourite people, as well as koalas, wallabies and kangaroos.  There were, as well, about a dozen other not-so furry creatures that we stumbled upon. 

What I love most about the zoo is that you really are in the company of the animals; there are lizards and iguanas wandering the cement walkways between exhibitions, and endless birds that fly free of typical aviaries.  There are acres of lush green trees and water fixtures, in addition to sculptures in keeping with the design of the ‘region’ of the animals. 

In all, it is an incredible way to pass a day, and I am so thankful we did it. 

Tomorrow we start our voyage toward Sydney, though we have lots of stops in between.  First stop is in Brisbane, then on to Surfer’s Paradise, and on Sunday we’ll arrive in Sydney and onto our last week. 

I hate to admit it, but I’m not quite ready to go back to Ottawa yet; there’s so much to see, and I would desperately love to continue the exploration.  ‘Real’ life seems so distant right now, and it’s a lovely way to be.  

In Search of Koala Signs and Entertainment

AKA the land of McNothin'...

Another day on the road, and here I sit with the laptop on my legs, relaxed quite comfortably against the dash of the car.  A recurring theme on our journey so far has been ‘thank God it’s not a Yaris’.  We were supposed to have a Yaris, but at both airports were upgraded to a Corolla Seca.  Since we are completely smushed as is – even in the upgrade – the notion of a smaller car is horrifying. 

We’ve had a busy few days, complete with a lot of traveling (we’ve done just over 1600kms so far, which ain’t bad considering it’s only been three days!) so the view outside our window has been pretty consistently the same.  The first day, the novelty of being in transit was clearly great as we snapped a million pictures, joked around and were all generally amicable.  By day three, we’re exhausted, semi-homeless (we were having difficulties planning hotels) and antsy.  Not a pretty digression. 

The food situation was, at first, precarious as always.  It’s becoming such a routine rant I fear I’m boring all four of you who actually read this.  Alas, we have discovered something amazing. 

As loathe as we are to admit this, the McDonald’s McCafe actually has some yummy stuff, and isn’t as toxic as you’d think.  When we first arrived in Australia, when asking about places to eat, everyone would recommend this to us, and we would cringe in horror.  I thought that maybe they thought I was American, and as such decided I’d be in want of fastfood, but now I’ve come to realize that it really is an Australian staple, and any time we’ve swung in for coffee (really, very good coffee!) or pastries, the place has been packed! 

The good news is, we’ve sorted all but one night’s accommodations – which just so happens to be the night after next, so … We really will have to do that tomorrow but then, after that, we know where we’ll be each night (and as of Sunday, we have 6 straight nights of posh-er hotels a la the Marriott, etc)

I’m a few days behind now – due to some stress and anxiety, not to mention a little bit of an eww factor.  But, I am now recovered, and feeling less mental, so I feel the need to share. 

After a lovely relaxing day Friday, we set out first thing Saturday to destinations unknown.  This is the way we tend to travel which means that booking hotels in advance is a crapshoot.  By booking it, we might not make it to the right destination at the right time, and by might, what I mean is that there’s slim to no chance that we end up in the right place. 

This trip, knowing that we do travel at a break-neck pace, we’ve ended up having to choose hotels as we go and on a whim.  Because we’ve discovered that the Australian accommodations market is a very expensive, very harsh game, we’ve opted to stick to motels as much as possible. 

Thursday, we stayed in near-opulence (by our current standards) at a Holiday Inn on the beach in Cairns.  It really wasn’t anything spectacular, aside from the mini-rainforest it held in the lobby, and the amazing views of both coast and mountains – it was impressive, but not because the rooms were particularly well appointed, but because of location. 

Friday, we stayed in a no-name motel in Bowen – with an ant infestation. 

Apparently, for no particular reason, there was a run on hotel/motel rooms in the teeny, tiny town, and even the skeeziest hotels were booked to capacity – including ours! 

The Pearly Beach is a little dated, as its name suggests.  Think Golden Girls with plastic deck furniture in the eat-in kitchen.  It’s actually quite reasonable in terms of rooms.  They seem clean enough, and have all the necessary features, in addition to being quite large.  The location is good: in walking distance to the Red Rooster (a fast-food place we won’t eat at… long story) and a convenience store that doesn’t really have much of anything.  There’s also a local fish and chip shop, though it’s nowhere near anything. 

Then there are the ants – the teeny-tiny beasts from hell that make me itchy just thinking about it. 

We spent much of last week in the tropics, so I can appreciate that creepy crawlies are going to be residents.  Let’s face it: they were here first.  I do not, however, love the idea of sharing my space with them.  They might have been here first, but I’m paying for the room… 

The other thing that was somewhat frustrating about this room is my bed.  There was a double bed, as well as two singles.  Ben assigned us places to sleep, and they are quite reasonable as a whole, however the single in which I slept leaned on a precarious 45 degree angle.  I feared that falling asleep meant not only rolling out of bed unceremoniously however possibly also be carried away by the creepy crawlies when I hit the floor…

Anyway, enough with the rant about the motel in Bowen.  Last night we moved on to a lovely little cottage in the city of Rockhampton – the beef capital of Australia.  What appealed to us most was that there was a kitchen we could cook in, and so that meant a night of normal priced food, as well as a chance to eat something that wouldn’t disable us all.  Hallelujah! 

The cottage was large and airy, as well as fully equipped.  After the night at the Bates Motel, this was heaven x 10.  I did laundry and we made our dinner watching bad Australian TV and oddly it felt like home.  It was all very splendid. 

Tonight’s accommodation is even nicer; we made it to Noosa, and have a lovely one bedroom apartment to enjoy.  Again, we’re able to cook our own meals and we trekked up to Woolworth’s to buy our evening’s groceries.  The view is lovely – a sidelong shot of the beach – and the path we walked along coming home from the grocery was on the waterfront.  I do hope to get some pictures tomorrow, however today was really more about stretching our legs and decompressing from the millions of miles we feel like we’ve put behind us. 

What we do have, however, is a picture of the big-ass pelican on the beach, which goes quite well with the other big-ass things we’ve found so far. 

Australians love their giant creepy statues and so without further ado, I will share them with you.

A giant mango.  Seriously...

Tomorrow we’re heading to the Beerwah Zoo (also known as Steve Irwin’s zoo) and we have one more night in Noosa, followed by Wednesday morning here.  Wednesday we leave for Brisbane (homeless… Sigh) and then Thursday on to Surfer’s Paradise. 

It’s almost hard to believe the trip is 1/3 over (quickly working it’s way to half way) because there’s just so much still left to see and do.  Even after some stressful car moments, there are things that I would never change – like seeing this amazing country with my best friend and my fave four year old.  

Don't Rock the Boat...

Today, everything I thought to be true in life was dashed by a man in a rubber suit. 

Seriously. 

According to ‘Beau’, the dive instructor on our day trip tour of the Great Barrier Reef, ‘Dory’ fish don’t typically travel this far south.  Damn Disney!  I wonder what else I’ve learned in life that is actually completely unfounded…

Ben was devastated. 

The boat trip out to the reef was a little rocky, to say the least; there were dozens of people on board, all of whom vacated to stern of the boat to… seek relief?  It was amazing to witness the exodus, though the knowledge of what was happening was somewhat off-putting. 

We’d been warned previously that if there was even a ‘breath’ of wind it was a poor idea to go out on the boat as it can be quite a rocky ride.  Rocky might have been an understatement, in terms of what we actually experienced.  Imagine a 90 minute tilt-a-whirl, and then add 60 barfing tourists…

Ben and I were fortunate enough to feel quite well, however Jayne was not so lucky.  Most of the time we spent coloring while pretending to not hear the retching. 

Still, even with the bumpy ride out to the reef, once we got there (and got over the devastation of Disney’s deception) we were quite happy to strip down to swimsuits and jump in the water. 

The water was incredibly warm, even though it’s the fall here, and as such the weather is cooler than normal.  It took very little time for me to get in the water and start splashing around in my ridiculous looking fins and snorkel mask. 

Ben was incredibly brave; whereas many adults were gripping the metal rails of the boat for dear life, he was well into the water wanting to swim north to ‘save Dory’.  Of course, with the assurance of floaties and a life jacket, he was in good shape. 

There was one life-ring with three hysterical women holding on for dear life as a guide pulled them around.  And yet this four year old was jumping in at a second’s notice, with little thought for all the naughty baddies that were in the water waiting to prey on succulent tourists? 

I actually didn’t see all that many naughty baddies to start with; I did have a near-miss with a jelly fish however I did manage to escape unscathed.  The sharks were on the other side of the boat (thankfully) so I didn’t have to have that panic attack; I was somewhat worried that Ben – in his various fluorescent floatation devices – might look a shish kabob to the sharks. 

Now that we’re back in the hotel, we’re a little burned (though barely considering how long we were out) and comfortably full from delivery dinner.  Tucked into our beds for the evening, prepared to watch bad Aussie TV, we anticipate a quiet night in before another very early morning tomorrow.  Our goal, if we can manage it, is a big drive – about 7 hours – to get us half-way to our destination of Noosa for Sunday. 

We’ve stocked up on all the necessary things for the drive: Tim Tams, water, trail mix and candy for Ben. 

So far this week, the funniest thing has been our fixation on the Tim Tam biscuits.  Delicious chocolate wafers and soft filling would count as a reasonable snack to most people, however what about for breakfast? 

This week we’ve had one every morning, as we prepared to head out to our next hotel en route.  This evening, Jayne offered one to Ben as dessert, however he looked up at her with absolute confusion.  “But it’s not breakfast.”

More pictures will follow, however spotty internet service is making it difficult to post... 

Please, may we stay here forever?

Heaven…

Imagine a 1950’s California coastal town – the casual atmosphere, the sunny day with the warm breezes and something akin to sheer exhaustion that pleasantly consumes.  That, in one inadequate sentence, is Cairns. 

I feel as if I’ve stepped back in time, and I have very little inclination to go back to reality! 

This morning when we stepped on the plane in Melbourne, it was rainy and cold, with weather forecasted to be much the same for the rest of the week – in short, it was miserable.  

We were ready to leave; as nice as Melbourne is, it really is not a very practical city in terms of layout – everything is so far apart that to do anything you really have to schlep across the city.  Parking there being what it is (about A$65 for a day, unless you get a ‘special’) it’s impractical to see multiple things within a day unless you want to be crammed on the free tram or the free circle city bus.  We were too cheap to spring for a regular transit pass – we need that money for coffee – so we instead stuck to walking or free transit. 

When we landed in Cairns, it was about 15 degrees warmer (a rather toasty 30 degrees celcius!) and the skies were bright and sunny.  It was a totally different world! 

Cairns is a totally different city; it’s a much neater layout (everything is closer together and easier to access) and there’s a logic to it – things are where you would LOOK for them so when you need to find it, you can. 

The waterfront is very simple, but the lush greenery of the area makes me swoon as we venture down every new road.  The palm trees that line the sidewalks remind me of South America and the Caribbean; large trees with incredible shadowy widths and large potted plants on every corner. 

Parking here is a dollar an hour – compare that with the insanity of Melbourne! – and you needn’t drive around.  Once you’re in the CBD (central business district), you can walk to any destination of real interest. 

Walking the esplanade, we wandered up the boardwalk, and discovered the lagoon - a man made public pool of phenomenal proportions.  Completely free, and very well maintained, there were people everywhere even though it was the middle of the afternoon. 

Sunbathers lined the grass, and there were posters advertising free family concerts at the wharf in the next few days. 

How is this not heaven? 

For the first time since we’ve gotten to Australia we had completely reasonably priced meals that were also healthy, and managed to find a grocery store so that we can have a few extra things on hand. 

Tonight we’re watching Sea Patrol and Criminal Minds on TV, while planning out what to do next.  My goal is to get a good night’s sleep since tomorrow we set out on the boat to explore the reef for the day. 

According to the tour manual, the reef is full of sharks that maintain the cycle of life on the reef.  Those sharks are apparently usually indifferent to human interaction.  Usually.  I can’t wait to see what their mood is like tomorrow. 

In the interim I’m enjoying my little slice of 1950’s heaven, and wondering how to stay here forever. 

Day 5 – Ben, Jayne, and Mel Cubed

As I type, we’re holed up in a teeny tiny hotel room the size of … well, the size of a decent walk in closet.  Tonight’s hotel is near the airport as we’re off to Cairns to start the next leg of our adventure first thing in the morning. 

The Formule 1, as it’s named, is something akin to Ikea living.  It’s a small, cube-shaped room with bunk beds and a tv mounted in the corner.  Our bathroom is a toilet that is in a closet with a showerhead – the sink is in the room with the beds.  It’s a tight fit, but very cool. 

(this divider is literally all that separates us from the sink and the wall.  It was luxurious - can't you see?)  

Today was one last visit into Melbourne.  We did the free tourist shuttle bus, and then hit a pharmacy.  My neck is still aching, and Jayne is catching a cold.  The cost of medication in this country is incredible.  Jayne bought 20 sudafed like things for A$12 and I bought 20 Naproxin tablets for A$9.  I would typically get 100 for that price. 

After the pharmacy, we sat at a café and had even more overpriced coffee while Ben ate the largest donut I have ever seen – also absurdly overpriced.  The game plan for the day was to wander leisurely and snap photos, and I’d say mission accomplished. 

It was a very quiet day as a whole, but muchly needed.  As we’re all somewhat under the weather – Ben has a cold, as does Jayne, and now with my tummy being off and my neck being a mess – so we needed a day of strolling the city, hopping on and off transit, and of course settling into our next hotel room. 

Of all the rooms so far, tonight’s accommodation strikes me as the most fun – it reminds me of the ferry we took to Le Havre a couple years ago, though stationary and of course somewhat bigger.  Not much though. 

Can’t wait to move on to warmer climates and switch to summer clothes.  

Day Four - Beware of Flying Excrement

We’re getting good at being on the road (even without maps…)  So far, we’ve clocked just about 1000 kms in under four days, and there’s still lots to see. 

Waking up in our Geelong retro-hotel, we set out bright and early to go to Phillip’s Island.  On the island, you can visit numerous things: the penguin parade, the nobbies, and a koala conservation site.  All of the above are incredible opportunities, but there is only so much time in a day – we had to be somewhat strategic. 

The drive from Geelong to Phillip’s Island is normally about two and a half hours long.  Seeing as we tend to navigate without maps (this is now a tradition with us, even though we always set out with the intentions of being prepared… this time it’s my fault: I forgot my GPS at home) 2.5 hours seemed like a decent drive.

On our way out of Geelong, we stopped at a roadside gas station and had a quick breakfast – overpriced coffee and eggs and bacon on toast.  I just have to say this: Australians really know how to cut their bacon – it is the most yummy, thickly sliced pieces that are cooked to perfection (not too crispy, not too ‘wet’)  The coffee is incredible, but I struggle paying A$4 for a long black with a bit of milk when it’s just about the size of a small Starbucks coffee (that I’d normally pay less than C$2 for!) 

Once we got to the Island (after a few missed turns – Jayne should know by now not to let me navigate!) we went to the Koala conservation first.  This is perhaps the most reasonably priced thing we’ve embarked on yet, since admission was merely A$10 and we definitely got our money’s worth.  In a matter of just a few minutes, we’d located several koalas and wallabies happily grazing amidst the gum trees.  Wandering the treetop bridges, we would have to duck and cover as apparently koalas are well and truly armed – little pellets of feces were plummeting toward the earth at warp speed. 

Koalas, I’ve decided, are adorable, but they do have a strangely demonic look to them that makes me wonder if they’re up to no-good.  After all, there must have been some strategy – they sit up their tree, waiting for a hapless tourist, and then lines up their target…  splat.  We were fortunate – we managed to dodge the poo, but I’m not sure that all tourists make it out quite so easily. 

I made the mistake of calling one of them a ‘poo-flinger’ in front of Ben.  He then repeated it over and over again, and decibels that drew attention to us from even the Japanese tourists several spots down the bridge.  Ops. 

The overcast skies turned dark, and while driving to the nobbies, we realized there was no hope to get to spend any more time on the island.  It was windy, cool, and pouring rain.  As much as it would be nice to stay and wait it out, it was hopeless. 

On our way off the island, we instead decided to entertain ourselves with street signs, which are really quite fabulous here.  “Beware, Koala Crossing” is pleasing, as is “Birds on Bridge at Night” which struck me as something that sounded like a poor pick up line or a singles’ bar. 

By the time we made it to St Kilda (a Melbourne Suburb) it was about 5pm, and I was knackered.  Somehow this week I’d managed to do in my neck/shoulders, so by the time I drove back the 2 hours in pouring rain (I was prepared to build an ark!) I was completely drained. 

Our newest hotel was amazing.  I think it’s intent was to be used by backpackers, but the location was prime real estate near the beach, and aside from tram traffic all night long, it was heaven. 

I fell asleep at 6:30 – I think I might have been a little wiped out from the drive…  

Early Rising and Long Commutes

With something between horror and amusement, we realized today that we’ve already taken over 500 pictures – in really what would be two days of travel.  It might be interesting to see how many pictures are actually worth holding on to – as of now I’ve deleted six.  That’s going to make for a heck of a photo cull when we finally head home. 

The Bates Motel, by all measures, has actually been quite pleasant.  Aside from being a little dusty, musty, and retro, the beds are comfy and all eleven channels of cable seem functional (even if they play much the same trash)  The proprietor has been quite helpful as well, so as a whole this strange little experience has been great. 

Of course, this morning we all woke up absurdly early – 5AM is just far too early to be debating where to go/what to do.  Thankfully most of the itinerary was worked out last night, so we mostly had to decide how early was too early to get out of Geelong.  After watching Logies review, and getting prepared, we left just after 7:30. 

Today’s adventures were dominated by driving – we set off for the Ocean Road, which is an incredible coastal road that winds in and out of the rainforest, and then a little further into the country before hitting amazing coastal towns. 

The first three hours of driving were consistent stop-start adventures, where we literally would stop every three hundred meters before starting again, until we rounded a new corner and found something else completely stunning. 

Now, like the Brits, Australians drive on the left side of the road (something I’m beginning to think is much more logical than our North American silliness of driving on the right) but like Canadians, they use kilometers. 

However, like Brits, they drive insanely fast around tight corners, where as we Canadians like to lurch to a stop any time there’s more than a slight turn. 

Today, as we wound our tiny little Toyota around hills and up and down some very strange grades, there would be speed signs posted for 80, then dropping down to 45, then picking up, and then again…  Most of the curves we took at 45 (or more) would have been full stops, and as we eased further down the road and closer to the Twelve Apostles, there was a sudden rush of roads where we would be going 80 as we took hairpin turns – seriously. 

I can’t decide my opinion as to those roads and the driving conditions, though I will say that I have a sudden urge to participate in closed-circuit racing. 

In the continuing dilemma of food, we did eventually make it back to Geelong, but hoping not to eat the same thing two days in a row, we headed in search of a chicken restaurant (think Swiss Chalet or St. Hubert) that we passed on our way in yesterday.  Now, we’ve had some serious food issues in the past couple of days, and things were getting a little out of hand, but there was hope that this would work out. 

It didn’t. 

Only in Australia would we find a roasted chicken restaurant that is chickenless…  We were tired – 5 AM was early, and we hadn’t actually had a meal yet today – and there was only so much driving around we could fathom after 8 hours in the car, so… we found alternative foods at the chickenless-chicken place. 

This evening on our way back from the restaurant, we did manage to find a grocer, so we stocked up on snacks, bottled water (that only cost us 89 cents!) and then we went for a walk on the beach. 

Geelong is beautiful, even in it’s retro glory.  The beach was well-kept, though small, and the sunset was amazing. 

Tomorrow we’re off to St. Kilda and the Penguin Parade – and possibly a koala meet-and-greet.  We’ve just finished booking our next hotel (oh, please, dear God, let it be free of wool plaid and red vinyl.)  The absence of wood panel would be a plus, though not necessary! 

Discovery:  a budget is almost impossible to stick to when the dollar fluctuates so significantly, and hotel costs mysteriously shoot up.  Guh! 

On our way to the Ocean Road, we pulled off and found this lovely little area - where everything still felt cool and crips ( might have had something to do with the early hour)

Our first beach stop - we got our shoes full of sand (and also our car).  It was worth it. 

It's incredible what you see when jumping out of your car at the side of the road.  There were a lot of gasps of 'awww... pretty...' today.  And of course commentary from Ben, though mostly he stuck to things re: his DS

The combinations of colours - greens, browns, blues, and reds - are so inspiring.  I could spend all day looking at this. 

The marina here in Geelong - so beautiful, I think we've got a dozen photos, lol