Muppets are Bootilicious - Seriously!

Today, I learned many things. 

I learned that dolphins experience 13 months of gestation (and in captivity, are content enough to have ultrasounds), that sting rays are really very placid (and have no teeth), that Disney has yet again failed me, as starfish are bumpy and hard, as opposed to soft and fluffy, and that muppets can really shake their groove-things.  Seriously. 

As you can probably tell, Sea World was incredibly educational for me. 

It was a good day in all, except for gay pirates that seemed to be stand-ins for the Highschool Musical cast, and with a very questionable accent, no less. 

I also learned that polar bears, apparently, want to be brown bears as they rolled in mulch that made them look like Yogi, even sharks don’t want to live in Canada, and it’s fun to get wet. 

Watching Bert and Ernie’s Island Holiday at Sea World was something akin to hell for me, but Ben seemed to love it.  The cast – Bert and Ernie, of course, Big Bird, Grover, Cookie Monster, Zoe and Elmo – were all pretty into their songs too, shaking their respective booty in ways that I was unaware muppets could.  Elmo, in particular, seemed to have a shimmy unbecoming of a respectable, red monster*. 

Now, the premise of this show – which at best would be described as 15 minutes of frolicking fur – was that Bert and Ernie went on vacation in the Caribbean and discover that they enjoyed it very much.  They liked their island, the banana tree (that was apparently completely foreign to them) and the random musical numbers that they kept breaking out into. 

This is when I realized that somewhere along the way, Jayne and I have morphed into Bert and Ernie.  I refuse to consider too seriously who is who, as neither is a particularly good option, but seeing as we’re both on our very own ‘tropical’ island, having just discovered banana trees for the first time, and cranking the tunes in the car at decibels that would be ear-deafening to most, it is worrisome.  My only consolation is that we have better shoes and eyebrows. 

We spent quite a long time at Sea World, which was a good thing considering how ridiculously expensive it was for admission (A$72/pp) and how many things were actually closed for seasonal renovation.  Thankfully, being off season also meant that there were almost no queues and that we were able to get up close and personal with the animals (though it in no way compares to the awe I still feel for the Australia Zoo) 

Aside from the dodgy Sesame Street show and the animal facts, Ben and I rode on a Splash Mountain-style ride that apparently took us deep into the Bermuda Triangle to be abducted by aliens – Ben loved it.  I don’t remember being quite so brave at four, but the poor thing drives with Jayne and me regularly so he is likely already accustomed to fast starts, strange stops, and what must feel like plummeting to the earth periodically. 

We had yummy soft-serve ice cream with lime-flavoured syrup and were so steaming hot that we drank what felt like a billion bottles of water.  So many Aussies were there, in ten layers and dressed as if it were ten degrees.  We were wishing we could remove more layers. 

Dinner tonight was at a cool Irish pub complete with a crazy A$10 Steak dinner, and live musical accompaniment.  It felt very much like a regular dinner out – just as I would have in Ottawa or whatever destination I might be living in.  As much as I’m not enamored with Surfer’s Paradise, I am very much in love with Australia itself. 

Before I got here, I had written it off as a neat place to go with a friend however it had never been a dream destination for me.  Now I very much consider Australia as a place to which I must return, for as long as I can manage, and next time around I have a much better idea as to how to plan, and what the financial demands will be. 

Tomorrow marks my two weeks here – I feel like it’s been much longer, and still not long enough.  Next week is the more luxurious part of the journey, with us in Sydney from Sunday on, and staying in four-star accommodations for the entirety.  I look forward to the adventure, perhaps to more time walking around solitarily, and also more time to get to know my amazing little Squidge, who has grown up so much already – and even in the past couple of weeks. 

*I have taken quite a bit of flack from Jayne for labeling Elmo a monster, as apparently his species is adequately described as ‘Muppet’ where as I think that’s far too broad of a classification.  As per Jayne, muppet is adequate as a descriptor and calling him a monster implies something negative; I counter that not all monsters are inherently bad, but that it’s their actions that define whether they’re good or bad (as it does with humans).   By that classification, Cookie Monster, Grover, Elmo and Zoe would be monsters, while Big Bird is obviously just that, and Snuffleupagus is just a hairy, earless mutant elephant with gender issues (am I the only one who remembers her to be a him during their youth?)  Jayne says I’m a labeler; Ben agrees with me.